Professor: “Did You Bring Enough for the Whole Class?”
Professor to couple making out during lecture: Excuse me, what do you think you're doing?Guy: Oh sorry, one of our friends bet us 50 bucks we wouldn't make out during a lecture.Guy in front of him to...
View ArticleWednesday One-Liner: The Musical
Girl to class: I love classical music! I listen to the Bambi soundtrack all the time!–Curtis High School, Staten IslandGuy in lobby, at intermission: Hands down, the best band I've ever seen in...
View ArticleWhich Reminds Me– I Owe You Fifty Bucks.
Student: What about sex?Economics professor: What about it?Student: Well, it's something that probably never has a diminishing marginal utility.Economics professor: You wish. (class laughs) Plus, for...
View Article…That Is the Expression, Right?
Student: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving, monsieur?NYU French professor, with heavy French accent: Bien sûr! I'm as American as apple pie!–NYU Classroom
View ArticleYou There in the Back Row — This Means You.
Student, referring to pinus: Wait, does that actually mean “penis”?Latin teacher: No. But once I made a joke about penises in a paper in college and my teacher wrote, “never do this”. (class...
View ArticleA Feminist Critique Of Wednesday One-Liners
Chick: Was she a gymnast, or a feminist?–Café, 113th & AmsterdamOverheard by: LadleAnthropology professor: Everyone's a misogynist. Women attend seminars, "seminar" comes from the word "semen,"...
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners Bypass the Language Center Of the Brain
Cosmetology teacher: We do not do sterilization in this class. That is what they do in a medical lavatory.–Cosmetology Class, AstoriaOverheard by: KelseyFat black teen shoving past white couple: I like...
View ArticleJust a Little Bit Of Wednesday One-Liner Repeating
Mother to child in front of diorama of pilgrims and Native Americans: Well, that's because the Indians never met real people before.–Museum of Natural HistoryOverheard by: Peter R.Young girl, arriving...
View ArticleThe Teachings Of Wednesday One-Liners
Professor: I have nothing against horse rapists, generally speaking.–New School UniversityOverheard by: Evan GilmerPsychology professor: Chocolate may make you feel good, but cocaine will make you feel...
View ArticleThose Table-clearing Hooligans
Russian Lady: Oh no, he’s too gentle to be a teacher. He went there before and the kids did whatever they wanted. They took everything from the tables. –D Train
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners Need a Better Bedside Manner
Guy: I can’t wait ’til I am finished with med school and I can start working as pediatric gynecologist. –Class, W4th & Mercer Girl watching another use eye drops: Do you need some help with that?...
View ArticleWhat's “Wednesday One-Liner,” Anyway?
Earnest sidewalk pollster: Sir? Have you got a minute to talk about the sanitation department? Do you think it's normal? –51st St & Lexington Overheard by: jake-e Conductor, bending down before...
View ArticleOr at Least Send Smoke Signals Across the Border
Student #1: Yeah, but for Christmas break I'm gonna be in South Carolina.Student #2: Really? I'm gonna be in North Carolina! Maybe we'll run into each other! –Classroom, NYU
View ArticleSure, Why Not?
Girl #1, in Spanish: Yesterday I saw the movie The History of Violence.Girl #2: Hey, is that the one about the penguins? –Spanish class, Stuyvesant High School Overheard by: Espanola
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners Will Swallow for Diamonds
Mother to five-year-old daughter: That's why she's a very smart woman. She married a very rich man for exactly that reason. –University Place &10th St Overheard by: evanescent Homeless man to...
View ArticleBill Cosby Started Out the Same Way
Girl #1: Oh, I like your sweater!Girl #2: Oh, thanks, my mom gave it to me. You know it's funny, she gave it to me a few months ago because she said New York winters are cold and I have nothing that's...
View ArticleRocky: Puke on the One in the Middle
Dude: Do you mean the guy you threw up on?Chick: Yeah, but not the frat boy, the other one. –Silver building, NYU
View ArticleHow About a Man Touching You While Talking in the Third Person?
Instructor: Mr. Hispanic man, talk to me. How do you like touching?Student: I love it.Instructor: How about a man touching you?Student: Even better. –Brooklyn College classroom Overheard by: dp
View ArticleScarlett Johansson's Wearing Wednesday One-Liners This Season
(Asian tourist walks onto subway with large panda-head shaped hat) Random guy: Take off that silly ass hat! –Uptown 1 Train Guy: When I wear my other coat, I look like a yak. –Mott St Overheard by:...
View ArticleRocky: Puke on the One in the Middle
Dude: Do you mean the guy you threw up on?Chick: Yeah, but not the frat boy, the other one. –Silver building, NYU
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